Author: Feya Shah

Yes, it is finally happening. Cannot believe this is happening. It has been around 4 years and approximately a month since I moved here. If you were to tell me 4 years ago that this is happening, I would have believed it in a second. But somewhere in these past 4 years, I kept losing the confidence of this actually happening. I was absolutely confident about moving back, but during the last four years, things kept changing, life took several (dramatic) turns, but as Geet from Jab We Met says, “Mujhe toh lagta hai ki jo kuch bhi insaan real mein chahta hai, actual mein usko life mein vahi milta hai.” Toh shayad, main real mein chahti thi, actual mein, to move back to India, and the universe conspired and made it happen.

You know, the past four years have been extremely challenging, demanding, and difficult. But at the same time, they have been incredibly beautiful, lovely, and exciting. 7th August 2019, when I was leaving with my 3 bags to depart on this journey, all of my extended family was at the airport. And to say, that we created a scene would be an understatement. Almost everyone cried, including all my uncles and aunts, cousins and almost everyone close to me was present to bid goodbye. I had cut my hair short, hoping somehow this would mean a new me and would help me in the new start, realizing that nothing really helped. I was crying quite a bit myself.

But as soon as I went in, things were different. I could not cry anymore considering you have to do all the checking in and boarding. Looking back, I think this journey does that to you. One minute you are crying and sad about leaving your country, and the other minute you realize how high the stakes are and you have to put up a good show if you want to win.

Since then, this journey has been filled with a solid amount of phenomenal ups and miserable downs.

I am happy to report that during my 2 years of Masters program, I was always doing some or the other odd jobs. Sometimes, sitting in a library, where my only job was to do some 3D printing. Sometimes, I would be grading students for a course I had no knowledge about. Sometimes, working as a software developer in C# for a college project and sometimes, developing a website on wordpress. You know, most of these jobs were not even closely related to how the real jobs would be, but they were so much fun. I had never felt the thrill of paying for my own expenses. It is crazy how pampered and sheltered I was, considering I never had a budget to work with. I have to tell you, those initial rushes of buying yourself a new phone, a new laptop, tickets to India, presents for everyone back in India, is delightful.

If you were to ask me, what the biggest take away from the 2 years at USC was, I would say, the fact that “anything can happen”. Literally, anything. The first instance of this, was when I won a mug at the USC orientation event. Yeah it seems trivial but I cannot tell you what it meant to me. It was like a lucky draw situation. And I won!! I have kept that mug with me till date (even after it fell and broke it’s handle). It is a reminder for me that you never know, anything could happen, literally anything. The second instance was when I got a summer internship at Amazon. I had just randomly applied, and I randomly got in. That internship turned to a full time job. I got a job which would make a difference to my resume and my life for years to come, only because one day I woke up, and said, what the heck, “Zyada se zyada kya karenge? Reject hi karenge na. It’s fine.”

After USC, I moved to Seattle. Lived around 1.5 years there. The biggest lesson in this time? I have learned that you cannot rely on anyone, but yourself. I moved to a city with a lot of known faces, but I realized friendship requires more than familiarity. I went to parties, gatherings, where I felt more alone than I used to feel inside my studio apartment. I never knew, I could feel like that. I realized that your closest friends, the kindest person you have ever known and the one true love of your life, can all leave you in a second. I guess we live in a world, where relying on other people is only going to lead you to disappointment. And where you want to live, US or India, could change who you spend your life with. I don’t really like the idea of making in health and in sickness promises, when we cannot even support life choices. We live in a generation like that, all believing that somehow our professional growth would cover for some heart breaks along the way. And I hope we are all right about that.

And guess who was with me through this whole time? My family, obviously, no points for guessing. They are always my first phone call, whether I am happier than I have ever been when I got a full time job offer, or I am crying hysterically after a break up. They are my first phone call when I am unable to sleep at 2 am and also, the only people in this whole wide world who I would dare to call at 5 am and wake them up from their deep sleep. They are the people I can be my worst version with.

You know, everyone living abroad misses family. And I know we miss them during Rakhi and Diwali, during Ganesh Chaturthi and Holi, and during birthdays, anniversaries and the other big moments. But no one really prepares you for how much you are going to miss them in the million tiny moments. You know, like when there is a big insect in your house and you are shit scared and are secretly hoping that your father would throw it out because all you have ever done in these situations is stand on top of the couch. Or like when you are in your periods and in incredible pain, and all you want is for your mother to make that liquid thingy that she used to prepare and give it to you. It is crazy, that one day you are just on a regular phone call with them, and you reminisce that trip your father took the whole family for, or that one comfort dish your mom makes and you start crying. You realize you miss these small moments the most. You know the kind of love, which can bring a small tear in your eyes, the kind of love, which is stronger than every other form of love you have ever known, it is difficult to live without a love like that.

I have realized that in life, there are good times and there are bad times. During the good times, when life is going your way, it does not really matter where you are or who you are with. But during the bad times, your heart wants to be around the people who are happy to be there for you, at your lowest, to see you at your weakest.

People are always convincing you, telling you that, life is too short. But I think, life is too long (as is this blog post). There are so many more big moments to miss. And countless small moments. This has been the single most crucial reason for this move. I want to be there for the big moments, like when my cousin is getting married, and I also want to be there for the small ones, like for every doctor visit of my parents, for telling my sister that she looks the prettiest whatever she wears. I guess what I am trying to say is, my heart is happier when it is close to my family. And I have realized in all this, that all you gotta do, is keep your heart happy. That is your only job. Keeping your heart happy.

One more thing that happened during these four years, a moment when I thought God paused everything else that he was doing and focused only on what I wanted, was when my grandmother expired. She was in severe pain. My parents weren’t even telling me how serious it really was. And when I did come to know, I cancelled my New York trip and flew back to India, making that decision in 20 minutes. I boarded the flight holding the NavkarVadi in my hand, praying that she stays for another 24 hours. Just hoping that I get to see her, once. When I reached Mumbai, I visited her in the hospital straight from the airport. She did not recognize me that time because of her medicines. Next night, we got her back home. She recognized me by my name, and then the following morning, held my hand while taking her last breath. I know this derailed into quite a sad story, but for me, this has to be hands down the one moment that I felt completely blessed. Only possible because I did not have to worry about an H1B visa stamp. Only possible because I still had all my freedom.

During the last eight months I have lived in a city where I did not know anyone. I realized what being alone in the truest sense of the word could feel like. And all I had, was family. An instance when I felt super lucky was when my parents and my sister got their US Visa. I can tell you, honestly, there is nothing that can make you feel prouder than that instant. From my father holding all our passports diligently before all flights we ever took, to me planning entire single thing of our trip, we did come a long, long way. After they went back to India, the last two months were tough. Waking up at 530 – 6 am, giving interviews, working and then studying for interviews has been extremely difficult. Especially because you don’t have a soul to talk to. Imagine realizing before you are about to sleep, that all you have talked today is on that video call with your parents, and you have not spoken apart from that the whole day. Now imagine, weeks like that. Again, only because you don’t get to choose where you work here. You are on a visa, remember? I have come to realize I need more freedom than this in life.

And that is something, I would like to point out. While life here is cool and amazing, it is very restrictive. Loads of paperwork, continuously worrying about your visa situation. And on a different note, sad to report, but men in 2023 are not all that different, honestly. Maybe it is not about men or women. But I guess what I would like to say is, I have the courage to drop everything and return back if it is about my or even for my partner’s family, but I don’t know if my partner would do that for me (considering my parents don’t really have a son they are going to live with). It is scary, right?

There is one more factor for this move though. There is something about that damn beautiful three color flag of ours, which I am super proud of. I believe in the Indian dream. I believe India is going to crush it in the next decade or so. I don’t think India would ever be America. Because it does not need to. It is amazing enough in its own way. (If you don’t believe me, here are some podcasts : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67E7TwHJBQg, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSIC07gP2Aw)You know, the pride when India achieves big things like developing COVID vaccines and enforcing lockdown on a population of 1.4 billion people or Chandrayaan 3, or the teeny tiny ritual of standing up to Jana Gana Mana before watching a movie in theatres, I always miss that. I miss being an Indian. There is something about it. (Also, some songs I absolutely love and sometimes hear to when I miss my country a lot : https://open.spotify.com/track/1WX7IIJnUgpDaweRefaih0?si=96cfe9bbb35f44c2, https://open.spotify.com/track/6H6BgDPTlfRpTQZNckbjlk?si=c1bdc2faafd14e73, https://open.spotify.com/track/65fbHxPPnRGPXaGN3PtpXd?si=730838fad9f34c11)

And there is something even more beautiful about MUMBAI. The city which has always remained home, no matter where I go. Somehow going to Marine drive a millionth time is still more fun then going to the parks here. So here I come Mumbai, promise me you would be everything I have hoped for. A lot of traffic, a lot of pollution, and a lot of people. The super humid climate, the local trains, the beautiful rains. It is a special relationship, you know. I love you just the way you are!!! (https://open.spotify.com/track/6bodOYnNpT1YBztNdlBegr?si=14c560b259f34b8f or you could watch Wake Up Sid the 100th time.)

All this long chatter must have made you think that I hated my time in America.

But it definitely is not like that. If I had two versions of me, one of me would roam around and explore the whole world. Probably stay here forever. Earn a lot of dollars and work in the biggest of companies. Probably get a green card at some point. Would have a lovely house, with two kids and a dog playing in the backyard talking in their American accent and me probably running after them trying to make them say “hello” to all the relatives back in India. And I am telling you, that is a beautiful, beautiful dream. But since I have only one life and only one reality, I believe in choosing the easier path. Or the path which would definitely lead me to home.

You know, four years ago, I thought coming here was the hardest part. But now, as I think about packing my bags, and throwing away all my utensils, and selling off everything, I think this has to be the hardest thing I have ever done. It is the pain of bringing down the life that you have worked so hard to build. It is the pain of leaving so many friends, so many relationships behind. I have also understood, that coming here means different things to different people. For some, it means freedom, independence and for others, it means providing a better quality of life for their parents. And staying here is equally if not more harder than moving back.

To tell you honestly, I am shit scared. I have accepted a job which probably is much lower than my pay grade. But I am excited since it is a really small start up and I would get to interact with a lot of cool people. I am hoping it would be a lot of fun and a lot of learning. I am going to be living with my parents again, after this major bout of independence. I am not worried, really but yeah it is going to be different. I want to do a million things honestly. If I were to list all the things that I want to do, you probably would be worried for me. But that is one thing that has been America’s greatest gift to me. “Ambition”.

I grew up in a very typical upper middle class Gujarati family. While growing up, I don’t remember anyone asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up? If someone did, I don’t remember what I told them. I have no recollection of wanting to be anything in my childhood. But slowly, steadily, life had it’s own way of showing me what I could be. And today, I guess my biggest ambition is to be “somebody”. Somebody that wakes up everyday to work towards a goal. Somebody who lives a fulfilling life with a beautiful family. Somebody who wishes to have all kinds of experiences in life. Somebody who is always bettering herself.

The next 20 days are going to be about making sure I pause to take in the beautiful skies, to look at the beautiful memories, and also to do the million things I need to do before moving back. I always knew US has to be a chapter in my life, and not the whole book. But I did not know, it would be my favorite chapter, the chapter that I would love to revisit a million times.

And now that I am back on instagram after torturing myself for good two months, I hope you allow me a little spam. After all, I am sure you missed me as much as I missed you :))

Ah it was Friday night, a normal weekday night, apart from the fact that it did not seem like a weekday. I had worked less than 30 minutes in the day. Not because I had no work, in fact I was dying to work, but because there was no work assigned. That kinda slow work day. I am trying to lose weight, which well I have realized, is going to be a forever kind of thing for me. More on that some other day… I try to have my dinner early but today was one of those nights where I was like I am sorry cannot do it anymore and then went overboard with all kind of food I have in my house. It wasn’t until I called my mother and she was like ah, how are you? Are you bored? When I just burst into a million tears.

Yeah, I was fine until then but I guess mums always know. Just by the look on your face, they know. And yeah, this is a very first world problem. Sitting in a beautiful urban studio apartment, in one of the most developed countries in the world, have a six figure salary, found a job even in the current economy, love the new job, have a lot of time to spare and maintain that work life balance perfectly, in fact my manager tells me to stop working if he catches me working post 5, so you see, overall everything is good. And just boredom, is reason enough to bring tears? Well, you would argue it should not be. But you cannot understand what it’s like when you wake up, go through an entire day, and realize that you only hear your own voice when you make a phone call to your family back in India.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my own company. As you would all agree, I am very entertaining. I can write a book about what all I think about everyday. In fact, if you are in my life, I am sure I have thought about some parallel life scenario with you and have wondered how it would have played out, for sure. (I promise this is not as creepy as it sounds) My mind is funny, keeps me occupied all the time. And I am good at spending time with myself, I really am. But the fact is, sometimes, it does get to you.

Just the thought of oh it is a whole weekend, the following two days, what am I going to do? The idea of spending two whole days in that bed because you have no real friends in this new city, is dreadful. I thought if I go on trips (which I have been doing a lot recently, as y’all have noticed) it would be okay. But the thing is, one weekend trip does not solve the loneliness you feel for all the upcoming weekends.

Then, of course, the other part of me, my best friend (it is just the wiser version of me), who pulls me out of these spirals, said hello! She said, if you do not want a particular outcome, you have to put energy and effort in changing it. And this became one of the few times when I did end up listening to my wiser self, and for that I am grateful.

So, the next day, I suddenly woke up at 6 AM and rsvp’d to the meetup events I was debating whether to go or not. It was an urban hike. Yeah, sounds fancy, it was basically a walk in the city. Hike because the neighborhood we were walking in, was Mt Adams! It was so much fun. Walked for around 2.5 hours. Met and talked to around 10 new people. Had lunch with a few of them. Hopefully, going to go for hikes or volunteering events with a few of them. The crazy thing is, you never know. A hello, a random meeting, could make someone a very important person in your life, well, at least I have witnessed that multiple times now. A few random girls I met through Bumble BFF are people I am going on trips now. A random girl, sitting next to me on the flight to Cincy, is the one I would play Holi with in the coming week, would meet multiple times, and well plan on going to a Strawberry Festival with. Hopefully, I will follow through and keep in touch with at least some of these people.

Saturday ended with Dahi Puri, Dabeli and Rose Falooda. Yeah, I remember, I said I am trying to lose weight, maybe from Monday?

Again, the dreadful Sunday comes along. You would think a day with people and 25K steps would make sure Sunday would be brighter and nicer. But you wake up, and you find yourself going again into a spiral. It has not helped. I let a few moments pass and tell myself everything would be nice if you just took a bath, and did your laundry. And was I right? I WAS. Just not judging the moment, and letting it go away helped. This is again, something that Jay Shetty always says. “Don’t Judge The Moment.” Came in handy. And somehow, I was back to my dancing self in like 30 minutes.

Decided I do not want to spend the day at home, doing nothing. I walked to a local Starbucks near me, caught a movie “Love Again” starring the boss lady herself PC, crying and being hopeful about love, and then reading a book and writing this blog.

I have grown to understand that you can almost never change how you are feeling, but sometimes, maybe sometimes, there is a chance of changing what you are doing about it.

To all my friends, who will read this and might possibly be like, oh god, I hope you are okay or like really, this is what she’s feeling? Either way, I have to tell you. I am okay. Okay to not be okay. And I am coping. I have recognized not having company out of choice is very different than not having company at all. Some nights I wonder, if I was ever grateful when I had all the company I could ever need? I wonder if I ever thought to myself, when I was back in India, and I was sleeping in a room with both my parents and my little sister, what a wonderful gift this is! But then again, I know when I am 80 years old, and I do not really have anyone who is interested in knowing what I have to say, I will be good at being with myself. I will be good at finding things to do, finding hobbies, finding interests.

I have all my meals alone, walk all my walks alone, watch all movies alone, go to Starbucks alone, and sometimes, there is no beauty in that. Other times, I cook pancakes which are burnt, shaped like a country’s map, and still choose to have them. I get to listen to birds on my walks. I watch embarrassing movies or the same movie a million times, and cry after the same scene for the millionth time and do not rub off or control my tears, you see it is liberating. I go to Starbucks and just sit there watching random youtube videos during people watching. And there has to be a lot of beauty in that.

Anyway, I have rambled on and on. Hope you had a wonderful weekend, and if not, well, now you know, it is not necessary to have one!

So, Friday February 17th, was the day I left Seattle for good. Could not sleep the entire night. Lot of crying, lot of anticipation, lot of weirdness. Finally, when I left “home”, left my keys in the drop box, it started raining, I started feeling a little excited. Like the acceptance finally seemed to kick in. The whole time in the cab to airport, I was just grabbing more memories of the city. By the time I finally boarded the flight to Cincinnati, I was half dead. I just wanted to sleep and not talk to anyone or do anything else for the next 4 hours. But of course, as usual, I could not sleep for most part. But just in this one instance, that indeed turned out to be a blessing.

There was a girl, sitting next to me. we started talking. I told her how I was going to Cincinnati for the first time. Was moving from Seattle and that I did not know anything about the city or did not know anyone from the city. I was listening to my music and suddenly, after some time, I see her scribbling something on her notepad. I did not quite get what she was writing. After a while, I asked her what she was writing and she replied saying she is making a list of places for me to eat from and things to do in Cincinnati. I mean, I told her that I really appreciate it. She left her phone number on there and was like if you ever want to hang out or something, let me know. It did not end there. She waited for me while I was trying to get my bags and get out of the airplane. We walked together to the baggage claim area. She asked me how are you going to get home? And I was just going to get a cab (which would have been very expensive). Her mom was going to come pick her up, and she insisted that they can drop me off. I said no several times but she kept insisting and she said it is not a problem. She and her mom, the sweetest people I have ever met, they dropped me (and my three big bags, one cabin bag and one backpack) off to my apartment. This goes down in history as the sweetest thing any stranger has ever done for me. Just look at how sweet the list was and also my cute apartment!

I was greeted by a fleet of stairs because I chose the first floor studio. I thought it would be safer if it would not be on the ground floor. But of course, I did not think how difficult it would be to carry all my stuff upstairs. Fun fact : A few days later, post returning from work, I was greeted with five big packages that I had couriered here (along with the mattress). I went upstairs without touching the bags and started crying (of course, that is the first thing that I do anytime anything happens). After 10-15 minutes of self pity, I went downstairs and rolled over the luggage up the stairs. I have realized that about me recently. I need to cry it out and absorb and be overwhelmed for a while and once I am done, I am good to go. Apart from that, there is a hot water problem. Don’t want to go into too much details but I have 16 mins to take a hot bath everyday. And if you know me at all, it is unacceptable. It was funny. When the leasing office said that’s all they can do, I started roaming around in the community, interviewing other people about the hot water situation. They said, yeah, you just have to work your way around it. I thought about moving but it did not make sense considering this is how it is in the entire town. Also, I had not ordered my mattress for quite some time, I created my bed with the three blankets I had (considering I lost my pillow too while boarding the flight). And of course, the grocery store is too far. Started ordering groceries online.

Now that I have listed all my problems, I also have to say, it is beautiful too. I go on walks and I feel so good. Breathing all the good oxygen in, basically you can meditate anywhere. There is a gym too. Been there twice. Hopefully, will go more the coming week. I am going through this phase, the “I’ll do it from tomorrow” phase. I saw ducks in the neighborhood. Very pet friendly. A lot of cute dogs. Beautiful sunsets, and a hell lot of sunshine.

Coming to the new job, it is very different. It is a super small startup and they are still growing their team here (which means it is just me and my manager for now :p). They gifted me two small baskets with fruits and some cute snacks, which was good. Post that, I got a call from the recruiter, saying that my manager has a family emergency and he won’t be able to come to the office. So, he will drop off the laptop and the keys to the office at my apartment :p You can imagine how weird it is to open the office and let yourself in on your first day. But I had to go since I had no wifi in my house till then. But otherwise, other people are good, very sweet. Work is challenging. It is in Go. A language that I am not familiar with at all. There are just 20 people in the company, so I guess there is a lot of workload coming my way. All prepped for it 🙂

On the friends side, I went to a meetup event. It was cool apart from the fact that everyone was super old compared to me. They celebrated Mardigras. That’s when I learned about it. And I learned that they get a cake with a small plastic baby in it. And the person who finds the baby is said to have good luck and has to bring the cake for the next year. Very interesting. Also, I joined a “Jain” group in Cincinnati. We had a meetup yesterday. We were 9 people and we went for bowling. It was fun. I have got better at bowling it seems. And I was happy because I guess this is the second time I have seen Indians here (The first was when I went to get a Subway and the server there was from Kalol, Gujarat). I guess, the group will keep meeting probably once in a month or so. Also, I kept in touch with the friend from the flight. In fact, we went for lunch and ice cream (after the two pints of ice cream I ate since my friend from Seattle sent it to me as a token of good luck for the new job) today and it was amazing. She is super impressive. Apparently reads like 425 books in a year (that’s what her Kindle says). She knows so much about the city and wants to be a writer. In fact, we are probably going to meet for Dungeons & Dragons (only heard about in shows as of now) because she wants to get ideas about her characters through the game. Super interesting!

Apart from all this, I think I have to admit I have loved spending so much time with myself over the last 10 days. I think I am pretty used to being on my own. I actually love it on most days. I have loved every bit of it here. Danced several times in the house, watched comedy movies, unpacking, long walks, getting food by myself. Everything has been amazing! There is something special about new beginnings. They give you a chance to redefine who you are, think and walk in a different direction. I guess I was too scared to be here and in the middle of it, I did not gather how exciting this journey could be. I am looking forward to exploring the city, meeting different people and living the kind of life, where I go for walks and hear little birds chirping and making my day!

To Seattle,

During my usual instagram scrolling last night, I came across this reel made on a quote from I think the movie Namesake (could have looked but I am too lazy). The quote goes like this :

“In the end, the whole of life becomes the art of letting go. What hurts the most is when you do not take a moment to say goodbye.”

So, here’s me, saying goodbye to you Seattle. I am writing this from the security check line at the airport. After managing all the overweight baggage, I have finally reached the security check line. The line is huge and I am scared I won’t get the time to post or write about this later since it only makes sense to do so when I am still here. Technically, still in Seattle.

I have lived around 1.5 years in this city and I have to tell you I have enjoyed every moment of it. Every single day. It has been amazing. Right from the start, I knew so many people, it immediately felt like home. I lived alone for the first time in a studio apartment and I cannot tell you the kind of freedom I felt doing that. If you have never stayed alone, you should try it. At midnight, when you are hungry and want to eat a bag of chips, you are not scared of judgement. Also, so much space for dancing. Big consideration for me. Also, you can take as long baths as you want. Pretty important, right? Of course, there are days of irrational fears and too silent nights as well but overall, it is a good feeling.

The best thing about Seattle is that everyone is in tech, almost everyone is working as a software developer or is working in a tech company, the probability of becoming friends and gelling with people is extremely high. I made a surreal amount of new friends. I found the people in Seattle to be very very friendly, open and warm. Weirdest encounters have led to nice friendships. I have made friends while selling furniture and in an elevator too.

One thing to definitely do is try Bumble BFF. The best thing ever! I met the nicest people through this app. It feels weird to imagine people that I met through an app were my biggest support system throughout these years. It was a strong girl gang, full of super strong, self dependent, best friend cum potential therapist kind of women. Through the various ups and downs, we stuck together. And I will always be grateful for the fateful day I decided to get on this app and use it.

Seattle has a variety of classes teaching anything and everything ranging from Bollywood (my favorite), pole dancing, aerial yoga and Tai chi (to be tried). Do try them out. And the meetup events they are amazing. Joined a book club, which inspired me to read and I have read a lot of books post that. Participated in a startup event, in which our team won the competition. Pretty cool.

If you don’t drink coffee, after landing in Seattle you will. You definitely will. There is free coffee everywhere. I got free coffee in both my office and my first home. And every few blocks, there is some coffee shop or Starbucks. First Starbucks will always remain special. Starbucks reserve is crazy. I had formed this bad habit of having coffee regularly at this place called “Fulcrum”. It is pretty good.

Basically, if you are in Seattle, the chances of meeting new people, doing new things is pretty good. You can go out and do as many weird things as you want to and the best part is, most likely you will find someone to do it with you! For me, I made a ton of new friends and relived memories with my old friends as well. I tried new cuisines (Ramen, Ethiopian and stuff) and then defaulted to milk and bread too. There is something very special between being able to switch between new experiences and old memories which is very comforting.

People complain about the weather. The weather is gloomy and cold. Super unpredictable. Today morning was my final day, and just as I was about to leave, it started raining. I like to think Seattle cried a little for me, like she is going to miss me as much as I am going to miss her. There is something very sad about seeing the house you once lived in completely empty. (Yeah, I am very dramatic) See you very soon, Seattle! Keep my friends safe and happy till then. Until next time!