Wow! It is 31st December 2024 already. I cannot believe it. Feels weird. One more year has gone by. This year, was crazy as usual, just like how the last several years have been. I am struggling to figure out like does my life have drama or am I the one attracting drama? Someone help me figure this out. Sitting here at the end of 2024, I was like ek solid recap ki toh definitely zaroorat hai. I need to go over and process this year. There has been a lot, a lot of events.

Good highlights of the year

The first on this list has to be the pretty good amount of weight I have been able to shed off once again since last year this time. I remember last year, with all the transition and all the shifting and the wedding season, I was sooooo scared to begin this journey again. Fitness is an uphill journey for me. I have always been slightly dissatisfied but last year, oh I was soooo sad about this. I think it was practically the only thing I thought about pretty much all the time. I don’t know if it is ingrained in women, or is it this marriage age, or is it the fact that I gained all the weight after losing it once, it was such an important thing for me. I would say I have worked on this consistently each and every day. Almost till september-october, going to the gym every single day. Working so hard on keeping tabs on what I am eating. Making sure I lose weight in a healthy way, and this time forever. Sometimes, I do think I overdo it. But oh, how much I love looking at myself in the mirror. And it is probably not just the weight loss. There is something about going to the gym, looking at what you eat, which makes you a little proud of yourself before you sleep. You feel like you treated your body right. I would recommend it to everybody. Not in a toxic “I hate myself” kinda way, but in a “I love myself. I am going to treat my body right” kinda way.

The second good highlight of the year has to be work. As anybody who is even thinking of moving back to India from US would tell you, the thing you are most scared about is how is work life going to be. How much would you get paid? How is the work culture? Will you have to move out of Mumbai? etc, etc. And these are all very scary but true concerns. Somehow, magically, it just worked for me. I have never been as passionate about my work as I am today. I am working under people I truly aspire to be like, on a problem, millions of women in India face on a daily basis. There are of course, difficult days, frustrating days. And I might switch when I have to, but currently right now, I am really proud of sticking around. Proud of believing that things will get better and being patient work wise. I have posted on LinkedIn about a year recap video which to me is pretty cooool.

Another good highlight of the year was Mussoorie, my first solo trip in India. I would not say it was magical, or like I have never seen anything like it, but oh god, the satisfaction I get from being alone on a trip is crazy. I feel so empowered, so aligned with myself. I felt like I needed a break. And the probability of finding people to come with you in monsoon, on mountain tops, is pretty low. But overall, I made a new friend on this solo trip, which I have talked to for like 8 hours, which was pretty cool. I have walked sooo much, listening to songs when I would get network, and talking to myself for hours. Finished a book on this trip too. It was the ideal break I could have gotten before the second half of the year, when all the massive festivals hit you.

Moving back, I had zero clue how my social life would be. I had almost zero friends in the city. Almost nobody to go to of my age. It is quite scary to think of. But I did make friends. Not like I’ll be with you till we die kinda friends. But let’s meet up and chill kinda friends to say the least. I met some really cool people. Made some really close girl friends. But more important than all that was the fact that I put myself out there. I wanted to make friends so I did go out alone. Went to board game events, hung out with different groups, went to dance classes, etc etc, all in an effort to meet more people and hopefully, make some new friends. To me, that is like a big win. Each year as we grow up, we tend to stick to how we are. Putting ourselves out there, making new friends, talking to new people can be scary and uncomfortable. But I was okay doing that, which to me, is amazing.

This next highlight, I was really considering, whether I should make a bad highlights list and put it there. But ah, I decided to just shove it here, because how could I ever term this as “bad”. This year, once again, your girl has fallen in love, and it has not quite worked out. If you know me, you should know I am the most dramatic person I know, at least in my head. I mean, when I fall in love, in my head, it’s all violins and guitars and sangeet dance practices and rehearsal wedding speeches. And then of course, when I fail in love, it’s all “Ve Kamleya” and “Ranjhan”. But this time, I realised something. Since I have worked so much on myself, these things can only break my heart, and not my spirit. I know there is a deep seated belief in my head, that eventually, I will be marrying the love of my life. I am like that “kutte ki puch”. Every time I convince myself that love is stupid and you should think rationally and all these kinda things, and then when it comes down to it, I fall in love completely not caring about any of these things. But then again, if you know me, that’s exactly how I function. It has always worked for me in all other areas of life. Let’s see if it does the work in this particular field. To all the single women (I have an obvious bias) out there, you can call yourself “Geet” even if you are in the second half of the movie. And your Aditya is nowhere to be found. Maybe you haven’t sat on that train. Or maybe you are pretty occupied with your Anshuman. Or maybe he is right there in front of you, but he does not get it. Or maybe he is right there in front of you, but as luck would have it, you get to be with him just 10 minutes before the movie ends, and life begins. Whatever it is, you are still “Geet”, even with your nose red and your heart broken :p

Overall, 2024 has been just about another year, just another roller coaster. I would say, December has been the toughest month. The big breakup, plus seeing my sister hospitalised (she is completely fine now) on our family trip, it has been a whirlwind and then work getting affected because of how badly shaped my personal life has been. But I guess, there will be an end to this madness. There has to be. I really cannot wait to enter 2025 with some really cool (but secret) goals.

Happy New Year! With a lot of love and a lot of wishes, may the next year you get everything you cannot even imagine putting on a vision board.

Regards, Feya Shah

Categories: Journal

Feya Shah

Living life one day at a time and on the side, telling you about it!